Why Me?
by Lizard King 13
Summary: Brillow is new in Runescape. And for some reason all the strange people come to him. Will he be able to keep his sanity?
1. Chickens

One perfectly fine morning in Runescape, Brillow was teleported from Tutorial Island into Lumbridge Square. With only a wooden shield and a bronze sword equipped, he looked around at his surroundings. Then Brillow set out of the square as more newbies were being teleported by the hundreds. He walked onto the busy street where everybody was talking with their friends. Brillow looked down the street and saw an assortment of shops. He looked down the other way and saw more shops. He looked across and saw a bridge leading across the river.

Brillow jumped and screamed. He whirled around and saw a rather disgusting looking boy. "Uh, hi," he wheezed. Brillow looked at him with a horrified expression on his face. "Wanna be my friend." He thought about the question for quite some time.

He didn't know what to think of him, but some how he blurted out yes. The hygienic- impaired boy's face was overcome with joy. Brillow wished he had never said yes but it was to late now. "My name is Stan. What's yours?" Stan said.

"Brillow," he replied. He started walking away, Stan started to follow.

"Where are we going," he questioned.

"Where ever you want to go," said Brillow.

"Then shouldn't I be leading?" asked Stan. He walked in front of Brillow and started walking. "So how long have you been here?"

"Three minutes." replied Brillow. "And you?"

"Two minutes," he said. "Hey, you were here one minute longer than I was."

"Hey, you're not as dumb as you look," mumbled Brillow. A goblin hopped out of a near by bush and attacked Stan. He screamed. Brillow jumped in and struck the goblin three times and it fell over dead. Brillow ransacked the remains and took three gold.

"Thank you very much. I could have been killed." Stan kept walking until he came a across a farm with a lot of chickens running rampant. "Oh, oh, I wanna play with the little chickens." Stan hopped the gate and started trying to catch chickens. Brillow opened the gate and entered, closing it behind him. He took out his sword and chopped off the head of the nearest chicken. Stan noticed and started crying. "Why did you have to kill the poor, innocent chicken?"

"'Cause I'm hungry," said Brillow, picking up the chicken carcass. He went to the fence and picked up some twigs and put them in a pile. Brillow took out his tinderbox and made a fire. He slowly cooked the chicken over the fire; Stan took wildflowers and threw them in mourning at the roasting chicken. Brillow ignored it, and started eating the chicken. Stan's sobs only became louder with each bite Brillow took. When he was finished with the chicken Stan ripped the bones out of his hands and buried them. Stan wiped the last tear from his face and Brillow made a mental note to himself to never kill or eat a chicken in front of Stan again. Brillow and Stan left the chickens and the farmer's yard, as the farmer came out to see what the all the commotion was about. But by the time he had a chance to come out Brillow and Stan were already making there way down the road.


	2. Draynor Village

Brillow and Stan were walking down the road towards Draynor Village. Stan was talking about nothing, while Brillow was trying to ignore him. "Stan, get out your weapon incase we get attacked by another goblin," Brillow interrupted. Stan looked at him with an uncertain expression. "You do have a weapon, right?"

"Of course I do," replied Stan. He stopped and pulled out a bow from his pack. He took an arrow out of his quiver and strung his bow. He twirled around aiming at everything around him. Brillow backed away incase Stan accidentally shot him. Stan aimed at a flower, then at a fence post, and then at a farmer. His finger slipped and shot the farmer in the arm. "Oops," he said awe struck.

"You idiot!" shouted Brillow. The farmer was waving a pitch fork with his good arm and running towards the two. Stan fumbled with another arrow, while Brillow embraced for the farmer's attack. The farmer got his pitchfork stuck and Brillow's shield. Brillow took a swing with his sword and sliced the farmer's chest. Stan finally strung an arrow and aimed for the farmer. His arrow went into the back of the farmers head, and the farmer dropped like a fly. "You idiot," Brillow repeated, "you could have gotten us killed."

Stan hung his head in shame and the two proceeded towards Draynor Village. "I need to put my money and other things inter a bank," said Brillow. So the two headed towards the bank. When they entered the bank, it was crowded with people trying to sell off useless items. Brillow went up to a teller and said, "I would like to open a bank account."

"Ok sir, what is your pin number?" asked the teller. She was an old lady with hair as silver as the moon.

"I don't have a bank account. I would like to open one," said Brillow. He looked back and saw Stan trying to buy some chicken bones for five coins. A tear rolled down Stan's cheek as the man showed Stan the bones.

"I'm sorry sir; you need a pin number in order to access your bank account."

"I don't have a gosh darn bank account!" The voices in the bank stopped and everyone was staring at Brillow. His face turned cherry red as people stared at him.

"Please sir, you are attracting attention," said the lady. "If you forgot your pin you can fill out a couple of forms and-"

"No! I did not forget my pin number," interrupted Brillow, "I don't even have a bank account!" Brillow started to get angry and left the bank. Behind him he heard Stan walk up to the lady he was just at and successfully opened a bank account.

While Stan was creating a bank account, Brillow took out his anger on a tree. He chopped down five trees by the time Stan had walked out of the bank. "Have any trouble?" asked Brillow. Stan shook his head and they started walking south. There, a church and a bunch of people fishing stood. Brillow walked into the church and Stan followed. Brillow saw a worried looking priest and walked right out.

Stan grabbed his shoulder and said, "Let's help the poor guy," said Stan. Brillow huffed and walked up to the priest. "What's the matter?" asked Stan.

The priest looked up and said, "I don't like fish and all these people are fishing behind my church." The priest started rocking back and forth in fetal position. Brillow turned around and started walking out, but he was grabbed again by Stan. Brillow wriggled free, but the priest lunged at him, "Please don't go if you go then I will worry more."

"Let's try and comfort the poor guy," said Stan. Brillow huffed and sat in a pew, while Stan tried to get the priest's mind off the fishermen. "Hmm, wanna sing a song?" suggested Stan. The priest nodded. "How about 'I Know an Old Lady'?" The priest nodded again. "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly perhaps she'll die," began Stan.

Brillow rolled his eyes and the priest took up the next verse, "I know an old lady who swallowed a spider, it wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die." The priest got up and started playing the melody on the organ. He started singing the next verse, "I know an old lady…"

Little by little, people started being attracted by the music, and soon awhole congregation of people was singing 'I Know an Old Lady.'" Brillow looked behind him and rolled his eyes in disgust. When the song was over, the priest started playing the song over and the people sung it again. Brillow once again rolled his eyes and started praying for the song to be over. About an hour later the priest stopped and said to Stan, "Wow, I fell better. Thanks." Stan nodded and Stan and Brillow walked out of the church. Stan with a smile, and Brillow with a frown.


	3. Lysander

Brillow and Stan were walking through Draynor Village, by the jail, when a boy in really baggy clothes came running from the jail. He tried to hop the fence but ended up landing flat on his face. Stan said, "Greetings sunshine, the Earth says hello." Brillow turned his head and stared at Stan. The boy in baggy clothes got up and rubbed his head but then quickly retracted his arm. "Why were you running?" asked Stan.

"I had to save the prince and then I had to enter the jail cell, but it was too small. I threw up all over the prince and ran out and ran into you guys," said the boy in baggy clothes. He started fidgeting and yanking on his clothes. "Too tight, too tight, too tight!" he mumbled.

"The guy is claustrophobic," stated Brillow. Just then, a guard came out of the jail and pointed at the boy in baggy clothes. Two more guards started coming over towards him. Brillow noticed and said, "We need to get out of here. Well at least you do."

"No, I don't want to move," said the boy, "I'll only get closer to the buildings."

"Look, if you stick around, they will put their arms around you to restrain you," said Brillow, the boy's eyes widened and his face got pale, "then they will put you in a tiny jail cell." The boy looked as if he was about to pass out, but he ran away from the jail guards, into the city. Brillow and Stan followed.

The boy went into a small house froze. Brillow and Stan entered as well and ran into the boy. They had stumbled into a witch's house. The walls were decorated with various objects. The boy turned around to leave but Brillow and Stan blocked the way. The boy cried for Brillow and Stan to let him leave but they wouldn't budge. "Leaving so soon?" came a voice from the corner of the room. "You would hurt my feelings if you did."

"As a matter of fact we are," said Brillow. The boy became more relaxed.

"Oh, come on, you heard her. We will hurt her feeling if we leave," said Stan. Brillow said he would much rather be caught be the guards than stay in the same place as a witch. "You're being very unreasonable," said Stan. Brillow turned and opened the door. The witch screamed and threw a red vial at Brillow's head. The vial smashed and the contents soaked into his hair. Brillow touched his hair and his hand was red.

"You turned my hair red! I want it turned back to black!" demanded Brillow, but the witch wouldn't do it. Then an idea popped into his head. "Do the same thing to this boy," he said. The witch shrugged and threw a blue vial at the boy. His hair turned bright blue. "Now we can sneak past the guard undetected," said Brillow.

"Good idea," said Stan. The three of them walked out of the witch's house. Stan was the only one to say bye. Outside,the guards were asking people if they saw them on the other side of the street. Brillow quickly walked behind the witch's house, and found the road.

On the road Brillow asked, "What is your name?"

"Lysander," Lysander said. Brillow nodded. After a while walking, the three of them got tired and decided to get a room in Port Sarim. They entered a pub and Lysander went to the bartender. "We need a room for the night."

"Certainly. One night, three people, that would be 76 coins," said the bartender. Lysander reached into his over sized pocket and pulled out a huge bag of money. The bag was relatively empty considering the size of it. Lysander pulled out a handful of coins and gave them to the bartender. The bartender gave them the key and the three of them went up stairs. Brillow unlocked the door and entered followed by Stan and Lysander. It was a small room with three beds. Lysander adjusted his collar when he saw the size of the room. Brillow immediately went to bed. Stan sat by a window and admired the seagulls that flew by. Lysander tried to get comfortable in the bed.


	4. Port Sarim

Brillow woke up as the sun finished its accent beyond the horizon. He looked across the room and saw that Stan had fallen asleep at the window, his head rested on his arm which rested on the window sill. He also saw that Lysander was not in his bed. Brillow went down stair and saw Lysander sprawled across a table. Three drunken men were at that table, resting their drinks on his head. Stan walked up from behind Brillow, rubbing his eyes.

All of a sudden, Lysander woke up. His head bolted up and the men's drinks flew into the air. The men growled at him like rabid dogs. Lysander said sorry, stretched and then walked over towards Brillow and Stan. But the men followed Lysander. "Hey, you care to pay for some in money or pain," said one of them. Lysander turned around and jumped back at two of the men's size. They were tall and fat, except for one who got up and was swaying back and forth until he hit the ground like a ton of bricks.

"Can I take a rain check?" asked Lysander.

The two men scratched their heads. They didn't know what a rain check was so one of them said, "If that means pain, then yes." He took a swing at Lysander but he backed away just in time. The man lost his balance and fell over. He passed out.

"Now you haf no choiss. I 'ill avenge my brother's death with pain," the other man growled. The man took out his war hammer and swung it at Lysander, but missed and made a huge hole in the wall. "Yarrrgh!" he growled. He took another swing and accidentally hit Stan. Stan blacked out. Brillow took out his sword but the bartender came over to break up the fight. The bartender dragged the two men that passed out and told the other he had to leave.

The bartender went over to Stan and dumped a bucket of water on his head. Stan immediately woke up. "Eh, you took a mighty big blow. But there seems to be no damage done. You are free to go," said the bartender. Brillow nodded and the three of them left.

"I think I am going to rest by the docks," said Stan.

"Ok, we will go and explore the town," said Lysander. Stan went to the docks and started playing with the seagulls. Brillow and Lysander went and explored the shops. They came up to one of the shops and saw a poster. It read:

WANTED!

Lysander. He tried to help aan escapeof one a prisoners in a prison. He is thought to be armed and dangerous. If you have any information on the whereabouts of this hardened criminal please contact your local authority figure. The reward will be a sense of pride and recognition in your community. If you expected money then you expect too much.

The Guards at Draynor Prison

Brillow looked at Lysander. He didn't look armed and dangerous and definitely not a hardened criminal. He finally said, "We need to get you a weapon. But first, some breakfast." Lysander agreed and they went into a food shop. There, a store clerk wore a white apron with, of course, clothes under it and a fake smile. "Hello," said Brillow," we would like some…" He looked at the things the store offered. "We would like some berries."

Brillow gave the clerk the money and the clerk reached under the counter and grabbed some berries. They were worm eaten and dull in color. "What are these?" asked Lysander.

"These would be called berries. You know, the ones you just paid for." said the clerk.

"These are worm eaten and lacking in vibrant colors," said Brillow.

"Well then you should have specified that you wanted a better quality of berry. But if you want a new branch of berries you will have to pay for it," said the clerk.

"This is absurd!" exclaimed Brillow. He took the berries and threw them at the clerk's face. They splattered and the little baby worms that have been taking up residence in the berries dispersed through out his face. Lysander cringed and the two walked out.

They went into a weapon shop and bought a war hammer for Lysander. Brillow liked swords the best and they both decided that Stan, and his pacifist ways (well mostly pacifist), would be content with the archery weaponry that he already possesses. When they walked out of the shop Lysander was swinging his hammer around. They walked past the food store and Lysander swung it. He accidentally hit a wooden support beam. Half of the store collapsed and the two of them made a run for it. The clerk emerged from the rubble but didn't see Lysander. They ran to the docks where Stan was. They found him and Brillow said, casually, "Time to go."


	5. The Makeover Mage

"Never take directions from a person who looks like a guy but is really a girl," said Brillow, "we should have been in Falador hours ago." The three of them had been walking along a path towards Falador for four hours. Stan wanted to get directions because he thought they were lost but they weren't. "This is all your fault Stan." Lysander agreed.

"Well we have to be going somewhere, otherwise there wouldn't be this path," stated Stan. Brillow rolled his eyes. The trees around them were growing denser, making Lysander uneasy. Suddenly Stan felt something walk across the path behind them. Stan turned around but didn't see anything. He dismissed it and continued to walk. Then it happened again. "Hello? Anyone there?" he cried out into the dense trees. Lysander and Brillow turned around to see who Stan was talking to. Then something walked past them again. This time all three of them turned around at the same time.

They continued to walk and in the trees beside them, they saw a black blur walking with them. Before anybody could say anything, a twig snapped behind them. The three of them whizzed around but saw nothing. They heard another twig snap behind them and turned around again. A sheep stood before them baaed. The three boys screamed like girls. Lysander fainted, and Stan bolted in the forest. Brillow stood in place, frozen with fear, slowly realizing that they have been stalked by a sheep. Soon, his screams of terror turned into laughs of humiliation. When he was done laughing he could still hear Stan running around the forest, screaming. "Stan, come out, it was only a sheep." The sheep baaed again.

Slowly Lysander came to. He didn't remember what had happened. Brillow explained and Lysander broke out into a tumultuous roar of laughter. Stan had walked out of the trees. He, too, realized that he had been scared of a sheep. He walked up to it and pat it on its head. He begged for Brillow to bring it along with them on their journeys but Brillow and Lysander both said no.

They continued down the path. They eventually came to a small house. "Told you this path lead somewhere," bragged Stan. He opened the door and the three of them went inside. Inside, rested a man in a blue wizards hat and blue robes on a chair. He was reading a rather old looking book. He looked up and said, "Hello! I am the Makeover Mage. You, no doubt, came here for a make over." Then he mumbled to himself, "Because you all are ugly as sin."

"What was that last part," asked Brillow.

"I said, you could even get a discount if I am feeling good today."

"Are you feeling good today?" asked Lysander.

"No, I don't feel like giving anybody discounts today. But the price for a make over is 5000 gold pieces." Brillow's mouth dropped at the price. "Hey, no one else does this. I am the only person, so I can set the price to what I want it set at. So would you like a make over?"

Before anybody could refuse the offer, the Makeover Mage's chest swelled until it was apparent that he had grown two breasts in less the twenty second. All three of them gaped. "You like them?" said the Makeover Mage. His voice went from a low pitch to a higher pitch as he talked and his other features changed from masculine to feminine. After his, or rather, her hair stopped growing she said, "I probably should have warned you that I casted a spell on myself that changes my appearance every so many hours. Usually the changes aren't this drastic."

Brillow closed his mouth and said, "Ok… I think we will be going now." He didn't want to end up like her or him, whatever it was.

"So does that make you a man or a woman?" asked Lysander.

The Makeover Mage had to think about the question for a while and finally said, "I really am not sure." Brillow pulled Lysander out of his fascination and out of the house. Stan followed.

"Wait, we need to ask directions," said Stan. He went back inside but was pulled back by Brillow.

"The last time you asked for directions we ended up see a person change genders in under a minute. I will ask for directions." He went back inside the house and quickly came back out. "Ok, I know where we are going." He walked back down the path, followed by the rest of them. Once again the sheep stalked them but Lysander, Stan, nor Brillow got scared.


	6. Fruma

Brillow, Lysander, and Stan walked into a village square. They stopped and Brillow said, "This doesn't look like Falador." There were a few houses and a few shops all along the perimeter of the square and nothing else.

"Yeah, I think this is Rimmington," Lysander said. Brillow threw up his arms and walked to the nearest house for directions. Lysander and Stan followed. Brillow lifted his hand to knock on the door but then he heard crying from behind it. He brought it down and started to walk to the next house, not wanting to get involved into any more weird stuff. But Stan knocked on the door. Brillow turned around and glared at him.

"Is everything all right ma'am?" Stan said.

The crying stopped and the door opened. In the doorway stood a woman with makeup running down her face. "Why do you ask?" she moaned.

"Well we heard you crying from out here and wondered if you were ok," said Stan.

"No," said the woman, "my husband divorced me because he said I was too ugly. He also said that he must have been really drunk when he married me." She broke out into tears and Stan went to hug her. She sobbed harder.

"You know what I do when I am sad or lonely, I sing a-," Stan was cut short be Brillow.

"NO!" Everybody looked at him. "I mean there is the Makeover Mage to the north. Why don't we go to him?" Stan's face brightened and he nodded in agreement.

"Do you have 5000gp?" asked Lysander.

"Ya, you might even get a discount if he's feeling good today," added Stan. The woman stopped crying, wiped her eyes and went inside to fetch her money. "We better hurry, it'll get dark soon."

She came out with a bag full of money and a smile on her face..The bag of money lookedheavy. "By the way, my name's Fruma," said the woman. They started to walk towards the north as the sun started its decent across the sky.


	7. Revenge

The four of them had a little way to go before they arrived to the Makeover Mage's house. The sheep were once again stalking them and Fruma and Stan got scared. Before long, they had arrived. Brillow entered first followed by, Lysander, Stan and Fruma. Fruma closed the door behind them. Inside, the fire place had a fire in it, but the room was empty except for the furniture. "We're here for a makeover, Makeover Mage," cried Stan, but there was no response.

Fruma fell to her knees and started to cry, "It's no use, I will never be beautiful and I will be the ugliest creature to ever set foot in Runescape." Lysander put a hand on her shoulder. "I am even uglier than the goblins."

"Oh, I don't know about that," said Brillow. And for the first time, he got a good look of Fruma. She wasn't that bad looking. Her hair was blonde and curly and she was tall and thin. Her age was about 30. "Come on, it is obvious he or she isn't here. We must go before it gets to dark."

Fruma looked up and said, "Ya, its no use just moping around." She got up and was the first one to leave. When they were all out, the sun was finishing its decent into the horizon. Stan started babbling on how they were going to be eaten by wolves if they didn't get back to the village soon.

"First, they will go for our throats and then—," Stan was interrupted by Brillow.

"Stan, shut up," he said. The others agreed with Brillow but Stan still went on, until a sheep tackled him into a tree. He went out like a light. "Oh great, now we have to carry him."

"We could just leave him here," suggested Fruma. Brillow and Lysander thought long and hard about the decision.

After a while, Lysander pulled some rope out of his pocket and caught a sheep. He tied the rope around the sheep's neck and then place Stan's body over the sheep. "We will make the sheep carry him," he said. He pulled on the rope and the sheep started walking along side of Lysander.

After a while, none of the people could see where they were going, because it had gotten dark and the trees shielded them from the moon's light, so the sheep guided them back to the village. When they emerged from the village, it was lit up with gas lanterns. Fruma invited them to stay with her for the night, except for the sheep which Lysander freed. Lysander carried Stan to the kitchen where he tried to wake him up. Fruma went up stairs and Brillow helped wake up Stan.

Brillow dabbed a wet cloth on Stan's forehead. Stan had acquired a rather large bump from the accident. While Brillow dabbed, he heard Fruma move a large, heavy object around upstairs. He went to investigate. He walked up the stairs and went into Fruma's room. She was rummaging through a trunk and pulled out some runes. "You're a magician?" he began to say, but Fruma ignored him.

"See him walking out of the shop?" she pointed out. A man was walking with his arms full of groceries. Brillow nodded. Then she pointed to a house in the opposite corner of the village square. "That's his house."

That's the—," but Brillow was once again ignored by Fruma. She clapped the runes together and a large ball of fire shot from her hands to the house. "What are you doing!" he cried as the man's house blew up, catching the neighboring house on fire too.

"Revenge," she said. She went to the trunk and dug through it again. She pulled out more runes and went over to the window. She clapped them together and a ball of dirt shot from her hands towards her ex-boyfriend. He was running towards his house when he was mowed down by the large chunk of earth that was just fired towards him. Upon impact he flew into a building, four feet away.

"You can't do that!" Brillow cried. He watched in horror as more and more of the village started to be eaten away by the flames. Nobody could do anything. A few people were crowded around her ex-boyfriend. And a few witnesses were pointing towards Fruma's house.

"Come on," she said, "we have to flee the city." She started packing her clothes and some valuables. "I hope you don't have much. We will also need that sheep Lysander freed."

"Who is this _we_ you talk about? _You_ blew the village up," stated Brillow. He looked out the window and saw that the fire had already engulfed half the city and spreading fast.

"Yes, but you are also in this house," she said. "Which makes you guilty by association." She grabbed his hand and ran down the stair. Stan had woken up. "Good, you're awake. We need to leave."

"What happened?" asked Lysander. "Half the village is in flames." Fruma didn't answer the questions but instead left the house through the back door. The rest had no choice but to follow.

They walked away from the burning village. On the outskirts, was a herd of sheep which Fruma mounted. "Get on," she said. They got on their own sheep and Fruma's started to gallop away. They weren't fat, but Brillow was amazed that the sheep could carry their weight. When they were far enough away, Brillow looked back and Rimmington was nothing more but a big light in the middle of no where. "We have to make camp here for the night," said Fruma. He got off her sheep. They were in a lightly wooded area, and from where they were, they could see a shining white wall to the north. Brillow, Lysander, and Stan got off and gathered a pile a leaves as a bed. And they slept, although all except Fruma found it hard to sleep after what just took place. They blew up a village, rode sheep as transportation, and now were sleeping in the middle of no where, Brillow couldn't wait for this to be over.


	8. Falador

Brillow woke up before anybody else. The sun was just starting to rise. He chopped down a tree and started to make a fire. He took out a slab of meat and started to cook it. Smoke billowed high into the air and the smell of cooked meat slowly woke everybody up. Fruma got up and said, "What are you doing? The authorities will see." She ran over to the fire and put big clumps of dirt on the fire to put it out.

"But I'm hungry," complained Stan. He got up and looked at the meat with a sad look.

"We will get something to eat when we go into Falador," stated Brillow. He picked up the dirty piece of meat and threw it out of the camp so wolves could eat it.

"We're not going any where near civilization anymore," she said. "Everyone will be looking for us."

Stan whimpered and Brillow said, "The authorities think Lysander is a criminal but we went to Port Sarim and we're not in jail."

"Ok, we will go into Falador." Fruma started packing her sheep. Lysander woke up and looked at Rimmington. It was now a smoldering pile of rubble.

Brillow took the lead followed by Stan, Lysander and Fruma taking the back. Brillow knew where Falador was now because he assumed the shining white wall was Falador. He went north to it and followed it until they were at the gate. They entered without a problem, although the guards looked at them weird because they were riding sheep. Once in the city, they decided to abandon the sheep and head for the food store. They looked at the magnificent white city on their way to the store. All the buildings were made with white stone. In the center of the city was a gigantic white castle.

They entered the store. There were rows of fresh food along the walls. Not like the rotting stuff Brillow and Lysander was offered in Port Sarim. On one of the walls of the store was a wanted sign for Lysander. Despite the sign, they had gotten everything they needed food wise without a problem. They exited the store and outside was a boy shouting, "Read all about, it! Rimmington destroyed!" People were crowding by the boy buying his papers.

They continued quickly around the city trying not to be seen. Fruma insisted on buying them some armor. Brillow and Lysander got some steel armor, which Lysander complained was too tight and almost passed out twice. Stan got some leather armor. He didn't like it because he knew cows were killed in the process of making leather, but he wore it anyway. Fruma also decided to upgrade their weapons. Lysander got a steel war hammer. Brillow got a mithril long sword and Stan got a willow long bow with steel arrows. They walked out of the weapon shop, smiling. They admired their new armor and weapons.

The day was half way through so Fruma decided to go to a tavern. Fruma drank herself silly and after half an hour she started crying. "Cheer up, Fruma," said Stan. "Singing always cheers me up." He started singing another childish song. Fruma joined in and so did Lysander. Brillow restrained from singing. After a while more people joined in, and soon everybody in the tavern was singing and drunk.

A guy near Brillow leaned over towards him and said, "I just want to take these people out to the Wilderness and leave them there to be eaten."

Brillow laughed and said, "Me too. What is the Wilderness?"

The guy snorted as if it was common knowledge to know what the Wilderness was. "It is a barren waste land, where it is legal to kill people. The farther you get into it the more dangerous it gets, though. Demons and dragons are said to reside deep in the Wilderness." The man took a swig of his drink. Brillow listened intently, getting ideas. After he finished his drink, the guy told him more about the Wilderness. "Many brave souls have ventured in, only the strongest get out. Many gangs and clans are also in the Wilderness ready to kill any unsuspecting adventurers."

"Did you ever go into the Wilderness?" Brillow asked.

"Oh, yes, I went in there twice. My first time, I had no idea where I was going and almost got killed by a gang. The second time, I went in and also never returned. Some cult thing almost got me" The man started crying. "I was never able to amount to my brothers. They had gone and killed dragons in the Wilderness. I couldn't even make it half way through." Brillow slowly scooted his chair away from the man. That conversation had given Brillow thoughts.

Five hours later, Brillow, Lysander, Fruma, and Stan left the tavern. Everyone was in a better mood except Brillow. Five hours of listening to the same annoying song was more than enough to make him the angriest man in Runescape. "Well, at least Fruma is in a better mood," Stan tried to reason after noting Brillow's angry face. _You couldn't just let her cry like everyone else does?_ He thought. The sun and started to set and Fruma wanted to get a room. So they went to an inn and bought two rooms one for Fruma and the other for the others.


	9. The Wilderness! not quite

When everybody woke up in the morning, Brillow told them about the Wilderness. Stan thought it was a lovely place to visit so everyone agreed to go to the Wilderness. They were outside the inn, listening to Brillow tell them more about the Wilderness, when Stan came up from behind Brillow and said, "I found a fast way to get to the Wilderness." Everyone stopped talking and waited for Stan to continue. "I heard some people who drive the trading caravans talk about the Wilderness. We can sneak on them and get a free, fast ride into the Wilderness."

Fruma nodded in approval, and Lysander did the same. "What time do they take off?" asked Fruma.

"I don't know, but we should hurry because they could leave any minute," replied Stan. They ran to the covered wagons, and saw that they were already heading towards the gates of the city. They started to run faster and jumped in the back. Lysander almost didn't make it, but Brillow pulled him aboard. In the wagon, was a large assortment of clay containers. They rattled as the wagon was pulled over the bumpy terrain. There was a stale smell that lingered in the wagon. But no one seamed to care.

Brillow looked out of the wagon and saw the doors of the city close behind them. He tried to look ahead and saw a long line of wagons ahead of them. Each were pulled by horses, and the wheels of eachwagon tossed dirt into the air, making it harder for him to see. He withdrew back into the wagon. All they could do was wait. "I'm hungry," complained Stan.

"Well, look through the jars, there might be something in there," said Brillow. Lysander and Stan started rummaging threw the clay jars. They would open one, look inside, and then put it down. Stan opened one and screamed. He let go of it and it smashed on the floor. He jumped back, against the canvas wall of the wagon. "What is it?" Brillow asked.

"A spider," Stan replied. Many minutes past and Brillow noticed that the temperature had risen. He looked outside. The landscape had changed from woodland to desert. The scorching sun was beating against his blue head. He looked around and all he could see was desert and one ribbon which was the road that snaked across the sand. He pulled his head back in and said, "I think we are here." One by one, they jumped from the back of the wagon.

When the last person, Stan, was out, they walked for a few minutes. Soon, the road disappeared. Brillow looked around and saw three men on horses out at a distance. "Be careful, there are people here who will want to kill us. Stay sharp," said Brillow. He slowed his pace and let Stan walk mindlessly ahead. When he was out of ear shot, Brillow filled Lysander and Fruma in on his plan to kill Stan. There was no objection between Lysander and Fruma so Brillow pulled out his sword, which shimmered in the sunlight, and ran up to Stan.

Brillow lifted the shiny, steel sword above his head. But as he was about to bring it down, upon Stan's head, Fruma shouted, "Brillow! Watch out!" Brillow turned around and saw the three horsemen charging for him. One of them brought out a scimitar and clanged it against Brillow's sword. The sword flew out of Brillow's hands and landed ten feet away in the sand. Lysander brought it his war hammer and swung it at one of the horses, but missed. Fruma brought out her runes and blasted one of the horsemenand a horsewith magicoff its feet. The horse got up and ran away, the guy just laid there.

The remaining two horsemen held Lysander at sword point and took away Fruma's bag full of runes. "You three are under arrest for attempted murder," said one of the horsemen.

"Attempted murder? What? This is the Wilderness, it is OK to kill people her," Stan said.

"The other horseman laughed. "This is Al Kharid, not the Wilderness. Now come along you three, you will be taken to court."

"You can't take them. They are my friends," said Stan.

"Do you think I care?" said a horseman. And the threeof them were lead into the city of Al Kharid, and put in jail until a court date could be set up for them. Meanwhile, Stan followed and wondered the city.


	10. Thr trial of Brillow

The cell Brillow, Fruma, and Lysander were thrown into was not pleasant; not even for prison cell standards. It was hot, humid, a strange fungus grew on the ceiling which gave Lysander an occasional allergic reaction, and there was no bed, not even a small pile of hay to rest on. Since the day they were thrown in jail, they had not seen Stan. They found out when their trials would take place. Brillow was first, the next day Lysander was to be on trail, and Fruma had her trail on the last day.

Fruma went on a diet in which she was supposed to eat three fruits a day. The morning of Brillow's trial, breakfast was a loaf of stale bread and a jug of water. "Where's the apple?" asked Fruma. "There is no apple! I asked for an apple at every meal."

"There is no apple?" Lysander asked.

"Look!" Fruma exclaimed. "See for yourself, there is no apple." She frantically looked under the loaf of bread.

"I don't see why you need an apple," said Brillow. "What's wrong with the food we have right now?"

"Well, one, it's stale, and two, I need some fiber." Fruma poured out the jug of water to see if an apple would fall out. "Nope, it's not in there." She placed the jug down.

Brillow and Lysander groaned. "Now how are we supposed to quench our thirst?" said Lysander. For the rest of the meal, they ate there bread with dried mouths and silence. After, it was time for Brillow's trial. Two guards came and unlocked the door. Brillow got up and left, glaring at Fruma. The guards tied his hands and he was hauled to the court of King Hassan.

They entered the court. Brillow was untied and directed to a table. On it was a glass of water. He reached for it quickly and drank at a horrifying speed. Disgust sprang up on King Hassan's face. "Yes, it is a desert, but you don't need to drink like a camel." He rubbed his forehead. "O, Brillow of Lumbridge, do you know why you are here?" Brillow put the glass down but didn't say anything. "You are here for attempted murder. You may now tell your story. And we will act like we are listening."

Brillow began to sweat. Yes, he did try to murder Stan, but that would get him locked in jail until the end of his days. So he made up a lie at the top of his head. He looked above the heads of King Hassan and his advisors who were seated next to him. "There was a gigantic bug flying near Stan, the person you think I tried to murder. It looked dangerous so I pulled out my sword to kill it. But that was when the men on horses came and attacked me."

"Interesting story," said a man sitting next to Hassan. "However, there is no such bug that fits your description that has been discovered."

King Hassan raised an eyebrow, "A new species?" He leaned forward, as if wanting to here the answer from Brillow more clearly.

"Possibly." Brillow tipped the glass. He loss control of it and it clanged against the wooden table.

King Hassan played no attention to it. "If it is, go out and find it, dead or alive. If it is real then your story is true and you are innocent. If it isn't then you are guilty and a fair punishment will be decided. You have until sundown in two days to find this 'new species'." King Hassan picked up a gravel and banged it against his table. "Court is dismissed." Brillow walked out with a lump in his throat and a feeling of someone punching him in the gut.


	11. Brillow's Dilemma

The day after Brillow's trial, Lysander had his. Lysander's was scheduled for the evening, so he had to wait many hours in the prison cell with Fruma. It was dinner time. Fruma had one apple left. The meal was once again, stale bread and a jug of water. Lysander and Fruma began to tear pieces of the crusty bread off and eating it. They occasionally took a drink of water. Lysander finished his bread first and reached over and took the apple. "What are you doing?" Fruma spat.

"Eating an apple," Lysander answered, taking a bite of the apple.

"But that is my apple."

"All I have been eating these past few days is stale bread. You think you could show a little decency and let me have an apple just this once?" He took another bite.

"No." Fruma reached for the apple, but Lysander grabbed her arm and swung it away, almost making her fall. "You little…" She attempted a second time for the apple, but Lysander threw the apple at her head. It bounced off and rolled into the hall. "Great, look what you did."

The timing couldn't have been more perfect, Lysander was about to smash her head against a wall, but a guard came to pick up Lysander for his trial. The guard stepped on the apple in the hall, making it into instant applesauce. The guard bound Lysander's arms with rope and hauled him to court. Lysander looked back and saw Fruma trying to scoop up the applesauce with an empty jug.

Lysander and the guard went into the courtroom where King Hassan and his advisors were seated in the front. The guard freed Lysander's hands and Lysander went over to a table with a glass of water on it. Lysander ignored the water and looked at King Hassan. King Hassan's eyes popped out of his head as he saw Lysander. "O Lysander, how goes thy mission?"

Lysander knew exactly what he was talking about. "Umm, not good, I guess." King Hassan's ears perked as he heard what Lysander said. "I have been discovered by the jail guards. I almost saved the prince but it is impossible to get the guards drunk."

King Hassan laughed. "Ok, we will discuss more about that later. Now for the outstanding issue, what did Mr. Brillow say to you before he pulled his sword on Mr. Stan?"

Lysander had to think quickly. "Umm, he said… he asked about the three people on horses on the horizon."

"That is it?" asked one of the advisors.

"That is it," reassured Lysander.

King Hassan nodded. "Thank you for your cooperation. Now, let's discuss the rescue mission. Do you think you could go in there again for a second attempt?"

"You heard the boy; he was seen by the guards. He will be recognized immediately," croaked an old woman advisor.

King Hassan turned to the lady, "Yes, but his hair color has change since then. If you go to who ever you did for the hair, then you might be able to sneak in there for another chance." His advisors nodded. "Then it is settled, you will go and try a second time to rescue Prince Ali. You will leave as soon as we can set up a ride for you. In the meantime, we will get you a room for free. Thank you for your time, and your help with our crisis." Lysander nodded. He walked out of the courtroom without his hands being tied.

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Brillow was under the escort of three guards as he searched the desert for his made up creature. Hot stone after hot stone, he searched under, his hands blistering from the heated rocks. The guards occasionally gave him water, but nothing to bandage the blisters.

When the sun started to set, the guards halted his search and led him back to the prison. On the way back, Brillow got an idea. He thought that if he could make bug out of some objects, then he could pass it off as a carcass and hopefully fool the king and his advisors.

The guards led him to his new jail cell. It wasn't as bad as the old one; Brillow thought it was because the king didn't want to discourage his search. He was also given reasonably better food than before, and more water. But one question raced through his mind, _How will I get the things I need._


	12. Reunion

Brillow woke up early in the morning. He stretched and looked out his prison window. Despite the time of day, a lot of people were hurrying about, trying to get things done before the sun came up and the temperature rose like a candy wrapper in an up draft. Then he saw a sight he didn't expect to see, and the answer to his problem. He called over to Stan, but he didn't hear. He picked up a small stone that was by Brillow's bed and threw it at him.

"Ow," Stan said, rubbing his head. He looked over at Brillow and ran over there. "Hey, buddy. Sorry you're in here." He stood on his toes to see a clear view inside the cell.

"Yah, yah, save the chit chat. I need you to get me some things…" Brillow went on with a list, and Stan tried to remember all of them. "… Got it?"

"Yah, but I don't get it. Why do you need those things?"

The sound of the guards marching down the hall started. "No questions, just do it!" He shoved Stan away. Brillow turned around and the guards were just arriving in front of the cell. They unlocked the door and let Brillow out. They walked down the hall and out into the desert for another long, hot day of searching for nothing.

* * *

Lysander watched the sun rise from his second story room at the inn. He sighed when he thought about leaving Brillow and Fruma and how they would probably end up being executed. He had not heard from Brillow since Brillow's trial. He wondered what happened to him. Then he thought about Stan and how none of this would have happened if Stan wasn't here. Just then, he saw Stan walking down the street with a handful of items. 

Lysander quickly jumped out of his chair and ran down stairs and out onto the street to meet Stan. "What do you have there? And why?" Lysander said to Stan.

Stan looked up and smiled. "Hey, you've gotten out of jail! Unfortunately Brillow didn't." This news didn't make Lysander happy. "But I haven't heard anything about Fruma," Stan continued.

"She has her trial today," said Lysander. "We should watch it."

"No," Stan said, "I have to deliver these things to Brillow by lunch time. He said he needed them for a project he was working on."

"Well Ok then. I will let you go on your merry way." Lysander started to walk away but Stan yelled out.

"I am not in any hurry now. I have most of the things I need. We could have breakfast or something."

Lysander thought about it. "Actually I am kind of full from the free breakfast the inn supplied." He lied.

"Oh that's OK. I was just trying to be polite. I am not hungry either," said Stan. The way he said made Lysander think Stan was lying. As Stan walked away, Lysander couldn't help but feel bad of what he had just done to Stan.

* * *

Fruma sat in her cell thinking about ways she could fool the court into making them think she was innocent. She couldn't think of any good lies to tell them. She also thought about profusely vomiting all over the place, which would make them schedule another trial, but not find her innocent. She finally concluded that she would act like a crazy person. 

The guard came to take her to her trial and when they opened the door she said in a soft whimsical voice, "It's nice to see you are letting all the pretty birdies out of their cages today." She looked up and pretended to watch birds fly away.

She entered the courtroom and said, "All hail your queen, the Queen of England!" Some of King Hassan's advisors laughed.

However, King Hassan did not think it was funny. "Sit down!" he commanded. His advisors stopped laughing immediately.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Fruma questioned. She went over to the table and picked up the glass of water provided at every court session, and drank all of the water in less then five seconds. When she was done she let the glass go, and it smashed on the ground.

King Hassan was affronted by the comment and her ability to drink water so fast. "It appears that you are not mentally stable enough for this courtroom much less society." Fruma began to smile. Her plan was working. "Therefore you will be shipped to the Dwarven Correctional Mines." And in a flash, her plan backfired and her smile faded. The guard handed her a pick ax and a helmet.

She dropped the pick ax and ran up to the table were King Hassan and his advisors sat and cried out, "I am sane! I am the most sane person you will ever meet!"

King Hassan leaned forward and his expression changed. "You look familiar. You look like that person who they claim burned down Rimmington." The advisors gasped. Fruma's mouth hung open. She didn't know what to say. The guards took her by the shoulder and dragged her away from the table.

She was dragged into the courtyard, where Brillow was bringing his constructed bug corpse that Stan supplied the supplies for, and also Lysander was coming to watch Fruma's trial.

Out of anger, she took the pick ax from on of the guard's hands and hacked it into a guard's back. After the other guards in the vicinity saw that their voices rang out, "Brother! We will help thee in your time of infidel!" Then guards came swinging in from the balcony and appeared behind pillars. Soon, they formed a circle around the three people. Fruma picked up the sword the dead guard carried and threw it to Brillow.

"Hey, don't give me this; I am just about to become free." But it was too late, the guards charged at the three. Fruma hacked away with her pick ax, her mining helmet was protecting her from blows to the head, Brillow was struggling through his fight, and Lysander took out his war hammer and started bashing people's skulls. Blood flew everywhere, but no matter how hard the three of them worked, the number of soldiers didn't seem to diminish.

Then, from out of nowhere, arrows started flying and making guards collapse. In between hits, Brillow tried to see where the arrows were coming from, but he couldn't see anybody. Soon the soldiers blocking the exit were gone and Stan stood with his bow and arrows telling the three of them to come on.

The three of them ran out of the courtyard and followed Stan to a horse which stood in the middle of the street. Without hesitation, the four of them climbed on the horse and rode away. The soldiers stopped pursuing them when they reached the out skirts of the city. From there, Stan, Brillow, Lysander and Fruma rode north to the Wilderness, were they became a gang and attacked unwary noobs.


End file.
